The school and most of the Village take Sundays off. The dorms are quiet; most of the older kids go into Wenxian to mess around. The younger ones congregate around the common television and watch cartoons. The bells signaling the beginning of class sessions are quiet as is the school telephone, whose ringer is set so loud it can be heard anywhere throughout the entire school complex. Most shops stay closed except the small convenience store next to the school and two of the clothing stores, who likely stay open because we are here spending our money with them. Our favorite local vendor – the bun maker – closes her shop too and leaves us wanting for her delicious lightly fried bread stuffed with lean juicy meat. Construction workers take the day off as well so the streets are quiet. Even the roosters crow less on Sundays in Chenjiagou.
It started raining Saturday afternoon, continued into the night and through most of the day yesterday. It was quite heavy during the evening and made for great sleeping though oddly it’s sound made me crave popcorn. During the day it lessened but still fell enough for raincoats with hoods up or umbrellas. It is muddy here and we all had to watch our footing as we walked from our dorms through the commons to meals or to the open shops. We visited the Taiji Temple, Museum and Park so pictures have rain-color exposure to them but all in all this rain was a welcome relief, washing the yellow haze out of the air.
Before I left Seattle I purchased the largest international text & data plan AT&T had to offer. At first I checked my usage frequently wanting to meter out my communications to avoid expensive overage charges. By the third day or so in Chenjiagou I realized I wasn’t using even a small percentage of the plan, and in fact I’ll probably use only about 10% or so by the time I step back on the plane to come home. I also recognized though I could be using the Internet more I am not. The only real time I am on the computer at all is to write this blog early in the morning and to send it off later in the day. I can post to Facebook on my Iphone and I do occasionally post pictures and brief updates, but I’m not checking my friend’s status updates or scrolling through the unending stream of political commentaries that clutter up my newsfeed. I have no idea what is going on in the world. Most interestingly to me is that I don’t miss being in Cyberspace at all.
The days and nights here in the Village have their own rhythm and that cadence does not include ongoing communications with or from the world at large. Very quickly one settles into the rhythm of eat train sleep and within that simple, intimate rhythm, one very quickly settles into oneself. For me I am really starting to notice the absence of all the activities that I spend my time on, not just the computer or running the school, but on simple household tasks that seem absolutely essential when I am home. Paying the bills, organizing this and that, and cleaning. I spend a lot of time cleaning. I like the feeling and the space I create by that activity but here this task is futile. At first I just bared the dust and grime but now it is so much the norm I am forgetting about how I want it to be different.
The more simple life becomes here, the more my mind becomes quiet. I am not even tracking time the way I do back home. My husband Kevin sent me a text the other day reminding me our nephew’s birthday was Saturday. I sent him one back, “what day is today?” I truly had no idea what day it was, or what date it was. The only thing that I have been keeping track of is when class is: 9:00 am & 3:00 pm, everything else has become irrelevant. Occasionally I notice anxiety rising up about something; is the school ok? are people coming to class? how is the construction going next door? will we finish the form here? but just as quickly I realize there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of it. I think at that point, do I want my experience here to be all about anxiety over things I have no control over? The answer to that question is to very quickly return my mind to its quiet place.
It is said that Taijiquan is natural. This is a difficult concept for most of us to wrap ourselves around. We spend a lot of our early training trying to “do”’ natural. Relax shoulders means pull them down, relax back means tightly tucking the tailbone under, soften and set the hips back means tighten all the muscles around the butt. Of course this is not natural and impossible to sustain but somehow this type of tensing is the only thing we know. Yesterday Chen Xiao Xing corrected (again) my Dan Bian form (Single Whip). He has taken to giving my right shoulder a good thump on a regular basis - a funny & caring gesture that I love. Up until then I have not been able to get it positioned where he wants it to be.
Shortly after this correction I was practicing, not even thinking about my shoulder. I was concentrating on my weight and my hips. All of a sudden I felt my shoulder spiral back and drop into what I thought must be the right position. The feeling was quite noticeable. I had never felt this before that I could remember. My shoulder, shoulder blade, ribcage, hip and neck all felt open and connected. They felt natural. I sank down deeper and it was comfortable. At that moment I recognized this shoulder is the one that I use to communicate with the outside world. This right shoulder is the computer shoulder, the telephone shoulder, the gesture shoulder. And when I feel overwhelmed with my life I roll this shoulder in, and turn it to the left, away from life. After only one week here, after only five days of training, this shoulder opens and relaxes back into its natural position.
Life in Chenjiagou runs on its own time: eat, practice, sleep. Likely living here day after day has it’s own stresses and distractions as anywhere else. And though it is a simpler life this does not mean it is an easy life. When one is here, even with all our problems in the West, it is evident how lucky we are to have the healthcare, nutrition and education we do. And clean water right from the tap. But the plagues of our modern life are undeniably layered within us – the irritations, anxieties, worries, the to-dos, have-tos, musts-dos all become so much of our body’s shaping and mind’s perspective that we become numb to them. We do not just struggle to find our way back to simply being ourselves but forget it is even possible. The gift of this place then is not just learning the art of Taijiquan, but learning the art of simplicity. After all the to-do’s dissolve like so much haze in the rain, what is left is purely a timeless state of repetition, sensation and breath. One can see that Taijiquan and life could actually be relaxed and natural.
Kim
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